11.Concierge
It was a terrible day. my legs felt like four pounds of cheese
in a two-pound bag. i didn't know what to do. my eyes were
bloodshot, and actually my legs were bloodshot as well. it was
strange,
Was happy. i got into my car. i decided i was going to leave the
city. gonna go south, gonna have a holiday.
So i got in my car and i wondered why it wasn't running and then
i realized i didn't have any keys. so i went in the house, found
my keys, came back out, started the car, and drove down the high
The highway shimmered like black incense on the bald head of a
buddhist monk. i drove down the highway and i got to that big
city of miami. the steaming, seedy city - the city that's so
seedy, t
Ve trees there. well i went into the nearest hotel and i went up
to the door and i said, 'i'd like a room.' then i realized i was
outside and i had to go inside. so i went inside and i
Ed up to the desk and i said, 'i'd like a room, please.'
They said allright, and they gave me a key. then i turned
around, and there waiting for me was the concierge.
Concierge! (repeated many times)
Well he looked at me, then i looked at him, then he looked back
at me, and then i took a putty knife and i rubbed it against his
cheeks in a very provocative way. and he turned around and said,
;follow me.'
So i followed him up the stairs. i went to my room. he opened
the door for me, and then he hit me in the back of the head with
a big silver shovel. i said, 'what's that about？'
He said, 'you get it free with the room.' who was i to argue？
And i went in. my whole room was covered with soap. little
soaps, all over the room, everywhere! in the bed, on the
ceiling, everywhere! i said, 'what's with the soap？'
And he says, 'what, you don't like soap？'
I said, 'no, i'll take it, thanks.'
He left the room, and then gave me a stare that almost turned my
blood to blood. anyway, i lay down on the bed, and it was a hot
day so i was tossing and turning, and tossing and turning. and
th
E soap started to lather up and lather up! and i was gonna die!
i was gonna suffocate! so i called the front desk, and they sent
up the concierge!
Concierge! (repeated many times)
Well he looked at me up and down, and he looked at me like i was
four pounds of shit in a two- pound bag. and i looked back at
him like he was four pounds of shit in a four-pound bag. and
then h
Ked at me like i was six pounds of shit in a
pound-and-a-half-bag. and i looked at him like he was 18
kilograms of shit in a thimble. and then i stabbed him in the
face. and then he bit my head
Nd put it in a bag. and that's when i fell in love with the
concierge.
Concierge! (repeated many times)
Now we live in a small beach house on a small beach on long
island - it's a long, small island, but i love it well. and he
loves me well. and sometimes we take a trip down the highway
that's gli
Ng like a buddhist monk with incense ablaze, and we think of the
day we first met - me, and the concierge.
Concierge...
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